No O

I did not ovulate on my last cycle. Even though the ovulation test strips were a little unpredictable, I think that they definitely helped me with my expectations. I was not expecting to ovulate based on the home tests, so it wasn't a major let-down when I got the news from my doctor.

I am now on Provera to bring on another period. I have doubled my dose of Clomid, so I'm now on 100mg instead of 50mg. I just knew that the 50mg wasn't going to work the second time. I have a very strong feeling that I am not going to ovulate with the Clomid and that I'm going to need the hormone injections to get pregnant.

It seems as if everyone is announcing their pregnancies right now, so I'm getting kind of numb to it. Everyone truly is pregnant except for me. The good thing is that most of them are Facebook friends, and not friends that I have to encouter and talk to every day.

I am starting to feel more comfortable with the idea of having only one if this doesn't work out. My life is good. I love my husband, my son, and our life. I am comfortable if this never happens and have made my peace with it. I am going to meet God halfway. I'll do my part here, and if it was meant to be, he will do his part on his end. This is all the more reason to savor every moment I have with Brady since I may never experience these events again with another child...giving me even more reason to go .8 next year to help him through his first year of Kindergarten.

Life is good!

A Christmas Present from God?

I'm just about done with my "fertile" time of the month, and there are still no signs of ovulation.  I have been doing the test strips at home, and it doesn't look like I'm ever going to ovulate.

Tonight at church, Father Ray reminded everyone that children are a gift from God.  God, please, the only gift I want this Christmas is a baby.

Day #1...again

Today is day #1 of my cycle again.  I'm hopeful this time, especially with my new diet and recent weight loss.  In a little under two weeks I have lost 7.5 pounds (and I still stand to lose more in the next two days).  I have noticed a huge difference in how I look, the appearance of my skin on my torso, not snoring as much at night.  Not only that, but it only took three days for my period to begin after finishing the Provera...all good signs.

This cycle we will also be using the ovulation testers and the pre-seed to help.  Who knew things would ever be this complicated?  Dr. Thompson said to not use the ovulation testers to determine when to have intercourse, but it will help me with the anticipation on day 22.  The progesterone level is really the most concern.  If it doesn't get SIGNIFICANTLY higher this cycle, still nothing will happen.  Even more motivation to stick wtih this diet  until I can eventually get pregnant...even if it takes a very long time. 

A Great Appointment on Friday, but a (kinda') scary Saturday night

Friday I met with Dr. Thompson again to discuss round #2 of Clomid.  He did an internal ultrasound to check to see if I had cysts on my ovaries.  The great news (and there's a bunch of it):
1.  I lost 6 pounds since my last visit.
2.  My blood pressure was completely normal, no elevation, even with the nerves.
3.  No ovarian cysts.
4.  Follicles on my ovaries that are ready to produce eggs!

After our findings this week, Dr. Thompson decided to do one more month on the 50 mg of Clomid instead of the 100mg.  He was very optimistic and hopeful that this might be the month.

Scary Saturday.  I'm on Provera to bring on my period this week.  I was told by the pharmacists that it was impossible to get your period while on Provera because of what it is doing to your hormones.  Well, yesterday I had some breakthrough bleeding.  I got a little nervous, but it stopped, so all seems fine.  Here's to another month.

South Beach - phase 1

So I decided to try to help the meds out as much as I can.  I started the first phase of the South Beach diet this week hoping that it will help with my insulin resistance enough to help the Clomid help my body ovulate.  I've actually been doing a pretty decent job the past two weeks with exercising, and hopefully, this will help as well.  If anything, I will definitely lose weight doing South Beach, so should I get pregnant, it will definitely help me keep my weight down.  My problem is not losing weight on a diet, it is sticking with a diet.  The good thing about South Beach is that if I can change my lifestyle, and the way I look and feel about food, then I won't be on a "diet" the rest of my life, it will just be the way that I eat.  (Holiday's and my birthday are obvious exceptions).  I already feel defeated after this first round of Clomid didn't work.  I really feel that this is hopeless.  I have pretty much decided that hormone shots are a non-option.  I won't go that far.  It was a huge step to even take the Clomid.  Maybe God has different plans for us...

Losing Hope

So I've done some more research since not ovulating on the last dose of Clomid.  They always start you on the lowest dose of Clomid (50mg) and then increase to 150mg if it doesn't work.  Some doctors go up as high as 250mg.  The frustrating news is that being insulin resistant and having PCOS also means that you can be Clomid resistent and would need hormone shots.  I don't think that Brad and I are going to go that far.  The solution: lose weight!  I would need to lose almost 100 pounds to be where the "ideal" weight to get pregnant.  This is just all the more reason I need to step up my workouts and really focus in on my diet.  Ugh!

Sad Day

I just got the results from my progesterone test today.  It says that I did NOT ovulate this past month.  I'm not sure what happens next.  I did everything I was supposed to, and took all the drugs that I was prescribed.  I hate this.  I guess I thought that this was going to be easy.  Not sure why I would assume that.  Life is never easy for me.  Nobody pays my bills or gives me thousands of dollars to spend on a house, furniture, vacations like my siblings.  I can't get pregnant at the drop of a hat.  Why does life have to suck for me!?!?!  I'm a good mom and I'm a good teacher.  I'm a good Catholic while other people don't work and don't go to church.  If I'm so good at this, why won't God give me another chance at motherhood?